Last week’s Rosen vs. Romney debacle and all the accompanying vitriol simply left me feeling a bit sad. I will be 47 this week and I remember how hard we old-school feminists fought for things. After becoming pregnant with Danielle, I discovered that the corporation where I worked did not have a maternity leave plan in place for those of us in managerial positions so my boss and I created one. When our second daughter was born, there was no part-time plan available for working moms so we designed one of those, too.
Working full-time with one child at home and part-time with two children at home was hard. Raising four children as a stay-at-home mom was hard, too, even though I was fortunate enough to have outside help. Now, trying to find the time to build the businesses I love and raise the three children who still live here is still hard. The bottom line is that being a good mom IS hard. Period. The point is that we need to respect a woman and her decisions for what they are, not what we think these positions should represent.
Imagine a society where we embraced each other for the gifts we have to give, not for the manner in which we give them. So much of who we are and what we do with our time is not even based on personality, but rather on necessity. Brian has always worked hard both outside and inside the home, but the six months between September and February found him working away from us every week. We all managed the best we could. Now he is here a bit more and I am out the door as often as I can be to pursue MY financial dreams.
This brings me to the theme of birthdays. Until I hit my mid-thirties, I could not understand why my birthday did not make it onto the national nightly news. Each year thereafter my birthday became another day in the life of those living in a crazy household. This was the ultimate sign that I was losing myself. This year will be different. I’ve demanded that my family celebrate with me on Saturday evening since everyone is busy Thursday. I expect a gift from the children and one from my husband. Yes indeed! I will walk away from bloody noses, teenage crises and laundry all day. (OK, maybe not the laundry.) The reason for all of this hoopla? If we women don’t celebrate each other, and ourselves who will? I implore all of us to dig deep and erase the stereotypes that flew at us growing up. It is time to teach our daughters and our sons that the good fight is one that has to do with integrity and commitment to who and what you love, no matter the approach.
This week’s shout-out goes to Jacqui Kraisky, the woman behind helping to make my dream of a kitchen come true. Jacqui listened to our vision and designed it, despite my complete and utter lack of spatial skills. Jacqui also did it in such a way that made my husband happy. She will help you with your kitchen, your bathrooms and/or your garage. Jacqui may be reached at jmkraisky@verizon.net.
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