The top fears for humans, according to the science of Wikipedia, are as follows: ghosts, the existence of evil powers, cockroaches, spiders, snakes, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels, bridges, needles, social rejection, failure, examinations and public speaking.
I imagine that she who shares these fears reacts in a similar fashion when faced with them. Her adrenaline starts flowing causing her blood pressure to soar. This causes extreme panic that then causes rapid breathing that then lowers the blood pressure and then makes her feel faint and possibly, about to puke. The low blood pressure also empties the brain of any knowledge of how you got in the situation in the first place.
I know firsthand about this sensation, as I own a fear so powerful that I can only be grateful that I must face it only once a year. My fear? The annual piano recital. You see, the four children in this house started taking piano lessons at the age of five and will be allowed to stop when they leave for college. Danielle already tested this approach and it is now clear to the others that I am not kidding. After nine years of yelling at them when they missed a daily practice, the kids dared me to start piano lessons. Faithful readers know that I am a sucker for dares.
So, four years ago I started lessons with our wonderful, patient piano teacher. Leading up the first recital, I was entirely relaxed, confident that I knew my song. Upon arrival of recital day, the aforementioned warning signs kicked in with full force. By the time I reached the piano, I had no idea what my name was so forget about the song. At the end of the recital our teacher asked if any of his students wanted to play his song again while the others were having refreshments. Yes, folks, that was for me. I was supposed to play a Disney song and it came out sounding somewhere between a polka and a funeral march.
This annual exercise in fear has been quite humbling for me. I am not crazy about enclosed spaces, but other than that, the common human fears don’t phase me. I think of all ghosts as being as gentle as Casper and evil forces have nothing on some of my relatives. I am a very experienced talker so public speaking is a joy for me.
This year’s recital is on Saturday and I am already nauseous. The one saving grace? I don’t have one. I will let you know next Monday.
Our piano teacher, Peter Chiusano, is a very talented musician, and obviously super patient, as I am still his student. Peter has been with us for eight years and with other friends for almost as long. He works in Northern Westchester, Putnam, Carmel and Ridgefield, CT and he comes to your house.
Peter may be reached at 845-228-KEYS.